「 A Strange Existence 」
by a-ghoul-who-loves-books
Summary: All Kaneki has ever wanted was a normal life. But after meeting Rize and the accident, that doesn't seem possible anymore. Not to mention everyone treats him like he is weak and disposable. And he is getting sick of it. Maybe it was time to crack the mask so to speak and show a little of his old self.
1. Ch0 - Prologue

Hello everyone. *hides behind couch* Er...apologies about my other story but I can say that I have not abandoned it. In fact I have written about three or four chapter ahead but chapter 5, the next chapter I am supposed to update on has been coming slowly. VERY SLOWLY. I'm sorry. :P Also IMPORTANT NOTE: This blasted application will not let me have any line breaks and I can't figure out how to fix this so for now there will be none. (Any ideas?)

Moving on... I hope you like this idea because I have no idea where I am going with it, much like the HP fanfic. Below is an extended version of the blurb. Oh god what have I got myself into.

\- Tayla Jane

* * *

All Kaneki has ever wanted is a normal life to call his own. But trouble always seems to follow him around, no matter how hard he tries to get away from it. Now it seems he has been dragged into the world of ghouls, after meeting Rize and then the accident it doesn't seem like he is going to get peace and quiet any time soon.

Everyone he meets, either ghoul or human treats him as someone weak, someone to be used and then tossed away or in some cases eaten.

But he is getting tired of being treated like dirt,

Maybe it was time to crack the mask so to speak and show a little of his old self.

* * *

[Prologue]

 ** _Humans are thought to be at the top of the food chain…But there are beings who hunt them as food._**

It was late in the city of Tokyo. The regular citizens of the city had settled down into their comfortable and safe homes. While others who were less….. savoury began to prowl the ever-growing darkness.

Far above the glowing lights of the city, at the very top of what was a soon-to-be viewing platform for a tourist attraction, there were faint whimpers filled with pain and despair. It was a quiet sound, only just loud enough to briefly echo out into the cool night air.

 ** _The monsters who feed on the dead flesh of humans._**

A soft giggle echoed out from the viewing platform. High heels walked in a slow pace. Each step walking evenly and measured, taking their time. The whimpering intensified, a young man, sat pressing his back against a newly completed concrete wall. One hand was pressed against a wound in his stomach with growing pool of livid red blood beneath him. The other being used as a crutch to the side, stopping himself from sliding down in exhaustion. His clothes were haggard and he was pale to the point of being leeched of colour with huge rolling tears slipping out of his half closed eyes.

'S-stop…' he whispered out, in a tone barely louder than the footsteps themselves. Another giggle echoed out. Gone was the sweet innocence of a girly giggle. Instead it was filled with malice and delight of the suffering of others. The footsteps pace increased as if the owner was eager to begin something….or end someone. A figure loomed out the darkness, their features unrecognizable.

 ** _They are called…._**

The man was shaking with absolute fear, trembling like a leaf in the wind. Snot was running out of his nose but he made no effort to wipe it away. He couldn't do anything except watch as the shapeless figure walked closer and closer. He could hear a sliding sound, of something heavy grazing against the concrete. The sound only served to terrify him even more.

'P-please…let me g-go…' He managed to stutter out. The pool of blood below him expanded slightly as his bowels loosened and then emptied.

'No.' The dark figure said quietly, a smile in their voice.

The last thing the young man saw was a girl younger than he was, leaning towards him, arms stretched out as if to embrace him with a wide malice filled grin etched onto her face. Then his vision was tipping forward, his head no longer connected to his shoulders and landing with a soft thump in his own lap. There was a final soft giggle before the night was silent save for the sounds of ripping and tearing.

 ** _Ghouls._**


	2. Ch1 - The Beginning of a Tragedy

This is not how I wanted it to show up. Certain words are meant to be larger than others and there are supposed to be lots of line breaks. Damn. Well anyway I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did. Cause I really did, like fangirling and everything. (Will I never learn?) Again, sorry about my Harry Potter fanfiction, I will get there eventually.

Ciao~

-Tayla Jane

* * *

Chapter 1 - **[ The Beginning of a Tragedy ]**

There was a TV running the background, the sounds of it could barely be heard over the usual morning rush of cars and sounds of people socializing.

'THE REMAINS OF A YOUNG MAN'S BODY WAS FOUND ON THE NEW TAKADA TOURIST BUILDING ON THE 28TH. BODY FLUID BELIEVED TO HAVE COME FROM A GHOUL WAS FOUND AT THE SCENE. THE AUTHORITIES HAVE BEGUN INVESTGATING THIS AS A GHOUL ATTACK.'

There were only a few customers in the café that morning. Only one of which who was actually paying attention to the television. The rest ignoring it as if it was no more than a fly on the wall. The one who was paying attention showed little interest in his facial features however his eyes burning bright with fascination.

'THE HORRIFIC GHOULS HAUNTING THE STREETS OF TOKYO…WHAT EXACTLY ARE THEY?'

Hideyoshi Nagachika was his name, or Hide for short as his friends liked to call him. He liked to describe himself as a handsome bachelor that ladies fell head over heels for but in reality he was more like a puppy. Cute but annoying. His brilliant orange hair was his most recognizable feature. A few people had said that it was the hair of a manga main character but he had just laughed and then done a pose. In classic joking Hide fashion.

'TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION, OUR GUEST TODAY IS GHOUL RESEARCHER DR. OGURA.'

Hide was loud, always cheerful and had a well of energy that never seemed to run out. A polar opposite to his best friend.

'Ooh. Check out this sketchy dude.' Hide commented to the silent figure sitting opposite him in the warm but comfortable café. 'Damn…the Takada building isn't that far from here.' He muttered as an afterthought.

Kaneki Ken, or Kaneki as he was called by his one and only friend Hide stared back unamused. 'They're not weird…' he said. 'Hide, you ought to expose yourself to more good writing.' Hide waved him off immediately and lay his head down on the table.

'No way. Books knock me out in five seconds.' He mumbled before focusing his eyes back onto the television which was still playing the previous program.

'But going back to earlier…I've never seen a ghoul before.' Kaneki said to the back of Hide's head. He sipped at his coffee while he watched Hide. 'Do they really exist? Those monsters that eat people?'

'Course they do.' Hide cut in turning to face Kaneki. 'They say ghouls hide amongst us disguised as humans. They could be closer than we think.'

'Disguised as humans, huh…?' Kaneki mused. There was a pause in which they both thought about it. Kaneki could practically hear the gears turning in Hide's mind. He didn't have to wait long before Hide broke out his trademark smile.

'Wait a second! I bet you're a ghoul Kaneki.' He leaned forward as if the though excited him.

Kaneki had to resist rolling his eyes at the comment. 'Yeah right.' He said. 'If I was a ghoul…you'd be dead already.' He turned his attention to the notebook before him. 'Even if they pass as humans, they're just human-shaped right?' He briefly sketched something and held up to show Hide.

'This is probably what they look like.' The sketch showed a rough drawing of a distinctly un-humanoid shape, with large teeth and small eyes. Hide studied it for the barest of seconds before grabbing the notebook from him. He drew his own interpretation before holding it up to show Kaneki.

'Here's mine.' He showed a rather amateurish drawing of a person. Hide then leaned forward and smirked. 'It's you.'

Kaneki couldn't help but roll his eyes at that. 'Hey…' He frowned slightly. Hide opened his mouth to tease him again but Kaneki beat him to it.

'Anyway Hide.' Hide closed the notebook and passed it back to Kaneki. 'Enough about ghouls.' He turned his attention back to the half empty cup of coffee in front of him. He barely took any notice of the way Hide leaned back on his chair and sent him a searching look. But he did notice the half grin that was sent his way half a second later. Kaneki's eyes flicked upwards and he eyed Hide. Hide's smile widened and he leant forward his eyes already starting to sparkle.

'So...which one's the cute girl you've been talking about?' He exclaimed rather loudly.

Kaneki's head whipped up and he faced Hide head on. 'Keep it down will you!' He hissed at him. "And stop looking around.' He followed up with when Hide cheekily glanced around the quiet café.

Hide ignored him and continued to search. He studied one of the workers of the café. 'Is that her?' He asked motioning with one hard to a purple haired girl. Kaneki glanced over briefly at her.

'No, she works here. I was talking about a customer.' Kaneki's eyes drifted back over to the purple haired worker. She was pretty in Kaneki's opinion but nothing compared to the girl he had briefly met a few times in the café. Hide almost shouting across the café to get the girls attention made Kaneki jolt out of his thoughts.

'Excuse me Miss!'

The worker turned and looked at them briefly before quickly walking over. 'Yes?' She asked. Her quiet voice was a contrast to her vibrant purple hair. Kaneki briefly wondered if it was dyed before he tuned back into the conversation.

'-have a takeaway cappuccino please!' He turned his head slightly towards Kaneki. 'What about you?'

'Er…no thanks I'm fine.' He mumbled glancing down at his cooling coffee.

'One cappuccino...' She muttered writing it down into the small notebook in her hand.

'Can I ask you your name?' Hide came out suddenly. Kaneki noted a slightly blush on Hide's cheeks and had to stop himself from rolling his eyes again. He knew what was coming next.

'It's Kirishima Touka.' She said her eyes narrowing slightly. Hide didn't seem to notice as he leaned forward and grabbed her hands. Or tried to at least. Touka stepped back the moment he leaned further forward. Hide took the miscalculation in his stride and plowed on.

'Miss Kirishima! Do you have a boyfriend!?' His eyes were gleaming. The startled look on her face was almost enough to made Kaneki chuckle. But instead he thumped Hide in the back on the head with one fist and frowned at him, his lips twitching.

'Hide, stop harassing the staff. I'm not getting chucked out of because of you.' Hide just grinned and bobbed his head, his mouth already forming an apology to Miss Kirishima. She took the apology stiffly and hurried away as soon as socially acceptable.

'Honestly Hide….' Kaneki shook his head at his friend. He could help the smirk that popped out in response to Hide's grin.

Although they hadn't known each other for more than a year it felt like they had grown up together. Kaneki was well used to Hide antics after a year of putting up with him. 'If they ban me from-' His voice trailed off when the door of the café opened to let a customer in. It was her.

'Sorry-sorry,' Hide said grinning all the while. 'I just couldn't help myself-' his voice similarly trailed off when he noticed Kaneki wasn't paying attention to him anymore. Kaneki jerked reflexively when Hide's arms landed firmly on his shoulders, his head bowed.

'Kaneki, I'm saying this for your own good….give up!'

Kaneki didn't respond and continued to gaze at her out of the corner of his eye. In his opinion she was absolutely beautiful. Her pastel purple hair fell in waves to the middle of her back, framing her face. She wore red rimmed glasses that suited her perfectly. A pretty, floral drees with little red high heels.

'She's way too hot for you. If she took off those glasses of hers, she would be something else.' Hide rested his chin on one hand and narrowed his eyes slightly. 'But maybe I have-'

Kaneki's head turned and he eyed Hide with an amused look. Hide noticed almost immediately and gave him a rueful grin.

'Yeah maybe not.' He said shaking his head. He glanced back over at her.

'I'm happy just looking at her from afar.' Kaneki said and then shrugged. Hide's smile snuck back onto his face. Kaneki reckoned his motto was forgive and forget, or something similar.

"You know that sounds kinda' creepy.' Hide commented slyly. Kaneki felt the urge to repeatedly bang his head on the table but he somehow resisted. 'Anyhow I start work soon so I gotta' head off.' He got up and waved at Kaneki before turning and walking away. He didn't wait for a reply and Kaneki didn't offer one. It's not like they needed it.

'Good-luck!' He called out over his shoulder. Kaneki shook his head but glanced over at the girl. To his surprise he found that she was watching him. She smiled slightly and he managed to force a smile back though the pounding in his head and heart.

As Hide left the store he waved at Touka before closing the door behind him. Kaneki turned back to his book that he had been reading before Hide had loudly waltzed into the café.

The Egg of the Black Goat by Takatsuki Sen was the novel he was currently reading. The book was about a cold-blooded female serial killer called the 'Black Goat' and her only son. Although her son is disgusted with his mother's sickness…he eventually has to acknowledge the same cruel impulses growing inside of him. It was a brilliant novel that focused on the psychological aspects of a trauma.

The girl who Hide had pointed out was certainly beautiful but what made her indefinitely more so was that she was reading the same book that he was. To his knowledge the Takatsuki Sen novels weren't widely known and even less people liked them because of the gore and horror that was contained within them.

He attempted to focus his attention back on the novel in front of him but couldn't help but spare a few glances her way every now and then. Eventually she stood up and started walking towards him, making his stomach flutter. As she walked past their arms brushed and she accidently dropped her book.

'O-oh, I'm s-sorry.' Kaneki could hardly keep himself from stuttering. He gave himself a mental kick to the backside and bent down for the book before she had the chance to. He offered it back to her with a sheepish smile. When she smiled back at him his stomach exploded into butterflies.

Her eyes flicked over the same book that he held in his other hand as she took her own copy from him. Her eyes lit up.

'It's a good novel, it is not?' She said a smile tugging at her lips. 'Are you a fan of Takatsuki?'

Kaneki's words almost exploded out of him in his enthusiasm. 'Y-yes! I love Sen Takatsuki!' She smiled at him.

'My name is Kamishiro Rize, what's yours?' She asked.

 _Now don't come off as a creepy version of Hide, You've got to get this right. Calm down already._

'I'm Kaneki Ken.' His own lips tugging up into a smiled of their own accord.

'Nice to meet you Ken.'

Kaneki felt the butterflies flutter again. It had been a long time since anyone had called him by his first name. She motioned to the empty seat across from him. 'Is this seat taken?'

'N-no.'

'Well then how-'

* * *

'No way…..so you are going out on a date then?' Hide questioned him over the phone.

'Yeah and it's the date of my dreams!' Kaneki added enthusiastically. Hide's voice sounded amused when he replied.

'Slow down there, your starting to sound like me.' Kaneki scoffed.

'There is not a single person in the world who is like you Hide, trust me on that.' A chuckle came over the phone. Kaneki could practically see Hide pouting at him despite him being on the other side of the Ward.

'Kaaaneekii….that's mean.' He blew a raspberry into the phone.

Kaneki shook his head even though he knew Hide couldn't see him. 'And you are a child.' A loud laugh sounded from the other end. 'You can't deny it.'

'No…. defiantly not.' Hide agreed. Kaneki could hear the beaming smile. He signed then glanced at the clock before frowning. It was late and he had that date tomorrow. He hated to cut Hide off but he needed his sleep. Not that he got much of it in the first place.

'Hide I'm going to bed.' He said and waited for the whining to start. When none was forthcoming he sighed.

'Kaneki…' Hide started his voice serious.

'Be careful-' Kaneki cut him off not paying attention to whatever he was going to say. If he let Hide get away with what he wanted they would be talking for another hour despite the phone bills. It was better to just cut him short and bribe him with cake later on to make up for it.

 _I'll probably see him tomorrow anyway. He has a habit of turning up whenever I go do something on my own._

Kaneki signed and rolled onto his side. He gazed at one worn bookshelf that was crammed to the brim. He had that particular bookshelf all his life unlike the others that he had managed to scrape together. The stained wood could have had been describe beautiful it not for the scratches and dents that marred the wood occasionally. There were also paint splotches and a few other stains that Kaneki couldn't tell what they were from.

It was one of the few things he had inherited from his father when his mother had only died the year before. That and all the books that his parents had owned. Kaneki had barely known either of them, but his mother's loss still gave him an empty feeling in his stomach. His father had died when he was only a child so the loss was much smaller for him. But it was still there, like his was missing their comfort even though he had only met them once since he had been taken away as a child.

Kaneki's thoughts turned back to Rize.

It would be nice to get another chance at love. The last time didn't work out so well, did it?

Kaneki's mouth twisted as if he tasted something sour. He didn't want to think about-He cut himself off from that line of thought. But he couldn't stop himself from thinking about his old life, the life when had very little control over his choice of actions and no voice to say what he had wanted in the world. But that was all behind him now. Only last year he had moved here, to start again. He had met Hide and suddenly the world didn't look so grey anymore, the people so cold to his silent suffering behind the mask. Hide was sharp and picked up on many of things. Which was probably why he attached to Kaneki on their very first meeting at Kami University. He had literally 'attached' himself to Kaneki's back and ducked behind him to hide from some cross Upper-classman. Kaneki had been stunned that Hide had actually seen through his mask or quietness to the boiling stress underneath.

They had become best friends within the week. Kaneki smiled at the memories of Hide acting like an absolute fool in front of other people to take their attention off of Kaneki.

His TV was still going in the background and as he shifted again the glaring red headline caught his attention.

'A SIMILAR INCIDENT TOOK PLACE ON SHIRAKAMI STREET

THE COMPOSISTION OF THE BODY FLUID MATCHED THAT FOUND AT THE SCENE FROM THE 28TH.'

Kaneki switched the tv off and rolled back onto his side.

Ghouls…...huh.

* * *

'Which one's your best recommendation?' Rize asked suddenly leaning forward slight with her eyes gleamed. Kaneki chucked lightly before thinking about it for a moment.

'Possibly Dear Kafka, her first one. But I would have to say that my favourite so far would be 'The Black Goat's Egg.' He took his eyes off of Rize for a moment and twirling and forkful of past around before eating it quickly.

'The trick with the letter was so unexpected!" Rize rambled. 'I loved her shorts stories like Monochrome Rainbow.'

Kaneki nodded in agreement. He struggled to think of another topic sentence. He thought that since they both liked books the topics would have come easier how Rize was a lot more intimidating that he could have imagined. Not in the way that make you wet your pants in fear but in the girly way that made him blush to the roots of his hair. Rize had laughed at him the last he had done that and it had made him go even more red that he had before. He forced out a laugh but she could obviously tell he was nervous as she was practically steering the whole conversation.

He glanced down at the small ham, cheese and lettuce sandwich she had bought for lunch. She had barely taken a bite out of it and he questioned her on it. She quickly became flustered before mumbling something about a diet and needing to go to the bathroom.

Kaneki watched as she quickly disappeared. Hoping that he had not somehow driven her off. That would just be his luck, to creep out the one girl that he thought actually like him. Then again she might not like him at all. He never really did get girls, they were just so confusing.

Kaneki was relieved when she came back. He immediately took her up of the offer of leaving the rest of their lunch and heading out to books shops for the rest of the day.

* * *

Kaneki and Rize were still walking as it got dark. They were walking along the suburbs engrossed in their talk. Kaneki almost didn't notice the two other people who walked past them but a flash of purple hair caught his eye. He turned his head slightly and noted with some surprised that it was Touka Kirishima, the waitress from the café Anteiku.

She was watching him with a calculating look which Kaneki ignored. He was having too much fun with Rize to be bother by anything at that point. He just smiled briefly and gave a little wave in her direction before turned and quickening his pace to catch back up with Rize.

He could feel eyes on the back of his head. But he quickly engrossed himself back into the conversation.

'We have so much in common!" Rize exclaimed. 'Thank you so much for today.'

Kaneki smiled at her. 'No thankyou I had the most fun I've had in a while with Uni and all. I'm going that way so-' but he cut off when he noticed the unease of Rize's face.

'A-are you alright?' He asked rather shakily despite the happy mood he was still in.

'Um- I live a bit past the Takada building street, d-did you hear about what happened there recently?'

She hugged her arms around herself as if to conserve warmth but Kaneki knew that was not what she was doing. She was scared. He could see a tremble in her hands and she was biting her lip.

Kaneki nodded and waited for her continue. He had little experience with women, let along one who was scared of a ghoul.

'I can hardly sleep at night and I've been afraid to go home alone.'

Kaneki nodded and smiled, trying to reassure her. 'You don't need to worry about that. I'm sure there are plenty of ghoul investigators around to deal with that sort of problem.'

He waited a second before he reliased that had been his moment. It seemed she was waiting for it as well so his words were only a little rushed when he pushed them out.

'Well I could walk you home….' He eyes immediately brightened but Kaneki could help feel that he somehow been tricked into it. He shrugged it off quickly and they began their walk again. This time talking about small topics like Hide's antics or the weather of all things.

They had just turned off into a slightly darker alley following Rize's directions. He didn't mind that dark and it gave him a chance to say what he felt without his emotions being splayed across his face. That had always been the one thing he was bad at. Hiding his emotions.

'Rize…' He stared only for his throat to close up. She took that as a hint to stop, turn and smile sweetly at him.

'It's funny isn't it?' She said. 'That were both here because we bumped into each at café store in the middle of a big city. And that we have some much in common like our like and dislikes.'

Kaneki found himself agreeing with her. They were very alike. Freakishly enough that he almost though she had found out his likes and dislike from someone. But that didn't happen, not in places like the 20th ward anyway.

'Yeah,' Kaneki agreed. But he was clueless to where she was going with the conversation. He almost kicked himself when she sidled up to him, standing barely a few centimeters away.

'Kaneki…'

His heartbeat took off in an uneven rhythm bouncing in chest. She looked pensive, as if she was working up to something but her eyes gleaming in a manner that made him hesitate for a fraction of a second.

'The truth is…'

He had to stop himself from looking down when his stomach flipped and then filled with butterflies as he smelled her sweet perfume. His thoughts stuttered and he found that all his worries dropped away. As if she was the only thing in the world.

'I've noticed the way,' she paused briefly. 'You've been looking at me. She tilted her head slightly to the side, a half smile on her ruby red lips.

The sweet smell of her perfume was almost overpowering in the small space between them. She smelled like a flower shop that had been doused in sweetness. There was also and faint hint of something else….copper?

'And I've been….'

His stomach flipped again against she leaned forward and put her hands on his shoulders. She leaned in to….kiss him. His heartbeat was so loud in his ears that he nearly didn't hear the next words she said.

'Watching you too.'

A searing pain jolted down his arm and through the rest of his nerve endings. It was sudden enough that he didn't-couldn't react to what was suddenly happening.

 _She had bit him._

And now her eyes…..she had a ghouls eyes. Red irises with black sclera. At his startled expression she let out a harsh barking laugh and stepped away. She grinned and gazed at him like a predator would with its meal.

His thoughts grinded to a halt. His mind blank he jerked back falling to the ground in the process. A low gasp of pain bursting out through his tightly clenched teeth.

The monster that was Rize giggled and clasped her hand together smiling at him. 'Oh Kaneki….do you remember the scene from the Black Goat's Egg where the Black Goat rips out the guts of a man trying to run away.'

She took a couple of steps forward and gently tugged the ribbon out of her hair letting it fall to her shoulders in a wild mess.

'It just gets me so excited.' Her voice was rough and she licked some of the blood off of her lips. Her grin widened until it was almost maniacal.

 _GETUPGETUPGETUPYOUIDIOTHURRYNOW…MOVE._

Kaneki pushed himself to his feet earing an improving glance from Rize.

'Oh your expression is so beautiful~' She leaned down pressing one hand against the concrete ground. 'I understand, how could have you known? You could never have guessed….'

'THAT I WAS A GHOUL.' As she shouted this with unconcealed glee, two red tentacle-looking appendages burst out of her lower back, ripping through her dress in the process. She licked her lips.

'Ooh KanneKiii~

ExCitE MeeeEeee~'

RUNRUNNOWYOUNEEDTOMOVERIGHTNOW.

Rize lunged at him and he threw himself to the side. The tentacles grazed his leg making him gasp but that didn't stop him from recovering quickly as started away from Rize as fast as his legs could take him.

He didn't get far.

Something hard grabbed his ankle and yanked-him back. Then his world was suddenly upside down, behind held up by one leg.

'Got yooou~' Rize giggled sweetly. "You know I've been looking forward to tasting you so much Kaneki! I going to enjoy ripping you into itty bitty pieces.' She giggled again and then there was a sudden sharp lancing pain though the left side of his stomach. His vision turned white for the barest of seconds before he regained consciousness.

She withdrew her tentacles things from inside his stomach and blood came gushing out. The wound wasn't particularly serious, it hadn't gone all the way through after all. But Kaneki knew he would die of blood loss soon if he didn't get away.

He forced himself to his feet but it was too late. A blur of red and second later he was weightless. It felt like forever, flying across the construction yard. But it was only a heartbeat later in which he slammed into the newly constructed building.

His vision darkened turning black around the edges and then disappeared. With his eyesight all but gone, he could only hear light footsteps and the sliding of something heavy being dragged along the ground.

 _I don't want to die like this._

Rize giggled but the sound quickly cut off. 'Are you dead already Kaneki?'

Kaneki couldn't answer. He couldn't get his lips to mouth the words he wanted to say. He could only sit there as he lifeblood bled out of him.

 _Please…..someone._

'Time to eat~' She sang. Another giggle bubbled out of her lips that were stretched into a beautiful but deadly smile. Not that Kaneki could see it.

Another giggle was interrupted by a scream of tearing metal followed by a whispered _'Kaneki…..'_ He figured that it was the sound of him dying and was slightly disappointed that he hadn't seen his life flash before his eyes. He couldn't think anymore as his conscious was dragged into oblivion.

 _W_ _hy_ _me_ _?_


	3. Ch3 - A Changing Appetite

_Well...heh...apologies for the wait. I promise I will keep updating from now on though. Er...maybe. MOVING ON._

 _I just reread this and noticed a few spelling mistakes in previous chapters. (Even though there are only two chapters :/ ) Also the bit about the bookshelf, I stuffed up, apologies. He did not inherit it when his mother died, he has had it since he was a child. I will get around to fixing that...eventually...meh._

 _EnJoY~_

 _\- Tayla Jane_

* * *

Chapter 2 - **[A Changing Appetite]**

When I was about the age of a fifth grader. I read one of Kafka's most famous stories in which the main character turned into an insect.

 _-shit-heneedsanorgantransplant…-_

I imagined what it would be like. Not being able to eat my favourite foods anymore, not having any control over my life.

 _-useherorgans-nootherchoice-notime-_

 **[Where am I?]**

It was surprisingly easy to picture.

 _-iwilltakefullresponsibility!-_

I'm not the main character of a book or anything, I'm just trying to be a college student, who fits into the brackets of normal.

 **[Someone please…]**

 _-transplantherogransintohim.-_

But considering my life story as well as my dreadful luck, I have no doubt that it would be a tragedy.

 **[KaNEki~]**

* * *

'DR KANO, DID THE GIRL CONSENT TO HAVING HER ORGANS DONATED? WAS HER FAMILY CONTACTED?! WAS LIFE-SAVING TREATMENT HELD FROM HER TO SAVE THE OTHER VICTIM IN THE ACCIDENT?! DID YOU DO EVERYTHING YOU COULD TO SAVE HER?!'

Kaneki glanced up at the television from his comfortable possible in the hospital bed. Despite that he had only just turned the volume down, the reporter's words were as clear as ever. They seemed to be shouting questions at Doctor Kano, the Doctor who had saved his life.

 _Looks like he didn't have permission._

The Doctor paused thoughtfully become replying in a calm and collected voice. Kaneki envied his control.

'SHE WAS PRONOUNCED DEAD UPON ARRIVAL. WE FELT THAT SHE DIED INSTANTLY ON THE SCENE, I FELT THAT IT WAS MY DUTY AS A DOCTOR TO THE SAVE THE LIFE IN FRONT OF ME. THAT'S WHY I MADE THE DESCION I DID.'

Kaneki slowly shuffled himself out of the bed wincing as he did. He may have been stitched up and not missing any important organs but he was still sore all over. Then again it had only been a few days. He shuffled into the small bathroom that adjoined his room.

Kaneki thanked whatever gods there were that he didn't have to share a room with another patient. He didn't know if he could handle being around people right at that moment. He was beginning to feel guilty about turning Hide away but he didn't want to deal with the questions just yet, that and Hide's highly enthusiastic personality. He just wanted some peace and quiet. He lifted up his shirt and gazed at the curved scar that ran across his skin.

 _Ghouls…_

A knock on the door made Kaneki drop his shirt quickly and shuffle back to his bed. He wasn't supposed to bed out of bed yet and he didn't feel like a lecture from the nice but oppressing nurse. She opening the door at his call.

'Come in.'

She poked her head around the door raising an eyebrow at the ruffled sheets. Kaneki pretended he hadn't noticed her meaningful look.

'Breakfast time!' She said cheerfully. She pulled a food tray behind her being careful not to bump it against anything and wheeled it over to his bedside.

'I've got some pretty good hospital food here Kaneki.' She joked earning a smile from him. Hospital food was almost always bad. She set it down in front of him and gave him another smile. 'Now you better eat all of it this time or I'll have to tell Dr. Kano that you're not eating properly.'

Kaneki nodded but didn't look her in the eye. To be honest all the food he had eaten in the last two days had been completely bland with not even a hint of flavor.

He hesitated before picking up the chop sticks and picking a bit of salmon up off his plate. He waited before the nurse had turned to straighten his sheets before placing it in his mouth.

The texture was the same as ever but it was flavorless. He chewed for a second before swallowing. The lump of fish settled in his stomach heavily. He noticed the hawk eyed look of the nurse and took another bite, attempting to look enthusiastic as he did so. It must have fooled the nurse as she smiled sweetly at him.

'Is it good Kaneki?' She asked.

'Yeah, it's pretty tasty for hospital food.' He lied through his teeth.

He noticed a slight frown between her eyebrows but dismissed it almost as quickly.

'Well then I'll leave you to it.' Her smile seemed brittle as she spoke to him. She left soon after, sparing a short look. Kaneki forced down the rest of the meal.

 _It may not taste good but it's got to be helping me recover right?_

It barely half an hour later when he vomited it all back up, most of it was undigested. He could still see pieces of half chewed food floating around in the yellowish bile. He cleaning up quickly before climbing back into bed.

He made sure to hide the evidence, for some reason he felt like the nurse shouldn't find out about him being sick. And it wasn't just because he didn't want to be lectured. It was something about the way she smiled at him so much and the looks she gave him when she though he wasn't paying attention.

Kaneki knew how to pay attention to the quirks in people's behavior. His year hanging out with Hide had taught him that. She was nervous about something, but he couldn't put his finger on what.

He rolled over and sighed heavily, burying himself under the covers. His days at the hospital were boring. Sure he had all the time to read, but he couldn't do much else and nothing worth watching during the day. Sleeping was the only other option.

* * *

He woke to frenzied whispers. It was dark, his room only lit by the small glow of assorted medical buttons around the room.

'But what if-,' another voice cut in.

'-The operation worked, I'm sure of it.' A man said calmly. 'It's just taking time to show itself. We have nothing to worry about.'

The first speaker spoke against in a slightly louder voce. 'But he's eating everything like normally. That's not what is supposed to happen!'

'We just need to have patience, Kaneki is not going anywhere after all.'

Kaneki tensed hearing his name. It took the barest of seconds to place the second voice. It was Dr. Kano. But what was he doing outside his room talking about him in the middle of the night, and what were they waiting for? He recognized the other voice as the nurse assigned to him as she spoke again.

'What will you have me do?' She asked.

'Try and keep him here as long as possible. If he leaves we won't have any control over him-'

Kaneki listed intently to hear the rest of the conversation but they had started walking away drawing away from his hearing range. It took him a moment before he realized that they hadn't even been standing outside his door after all. They had been standing slightly down the hall.

 _Weird._

Kaneki sat up stiffly, thoughts running through his head a million miles per hour.

 _What were they waiting for? And why are they trying to keep me here?_

He frowned as he pondered those questions. He couldn't answer them, not with the information he had. And he wasn't in any position to find out being the one they were talking about. But he did know one thing. They were trying to keep him in the hospital. He smirked slightly, one thing people never learned. Was that you didn't tell Kaneki Ken not to do something and then expect him to follow the rules.

He lay back down and pulled out his phone still smirking. Oh he was going give the plotting Dr. Kano one hell of a surprise the following day.

* * *

'Good morning Kaneki' A warm voice spoke to him from behind. Kaneki turned to see Dr. Kano standing in the doorway, smiling at him puzzled. Kaneki smiled back. He turned back to packing his meager bag before replying.

'Oh you know, just packing.' He replied vaguely, his lips twitching.

'And why would you being doing that, if I may ask?' Dr. Kano asked politely. Talking a step forward as he did so.

Kaneki finished and turned back to the Dr, picking up his bag as he did so. He placed a puzzled smile on face as he replied.

'I got my release papers this morning,' he paused. 'I didn't think I would be out so soon but-' he shrugged acting innocent 'It's not like I'm going to say no, after all right now I really just want to head home and settle back into my old life.'

Dr. Kano appeared speechless. Something deep inside Kaneki began to cackle its amusement.

The Dr. shook himself visibly before asking for the papers. Kaneki handed them over obediently, only just managing to keep the satisfied smirk off of his face. A laugh bubbled up in his throat but he managed to cover it up with a hurried cough that scratched his throat.

Dr. Kano read through the papers, taking his time to analyze them. They had all the right qualifications right down to his own personal signature, signing that Kaneki was okay to leave the hospital. If he didn't know any better Dr. Kano would have thought he had done the papers himself. He hesitantly handed them back to Kaneki who just smiled at him.

'Well it's been good seeing you this morning Doctor, now I shall be leaving now.' Kaneki didn't wait for a reply. He just took one look at the shocked face of Doctor Kano and walked out.

Kaneki strode quickly out of the hospital, only pausing at the front desk to pass up his papers so they would let him out. He was just leaving through the front doors when he saw his assigned nurse. She was standing stock still holding a stack of paperwork. Some of it had fallen to the ground but she didn't have seemed to have noticed as her mouth was wide open, gaping like a fish. Her eyes were wide too, her face expressing her shock.

Kaneki shot her a quick grin as he was walking away out of the hospital that he had stayed in for the last week. He didn't look back until he was across the street. He glanced back and his sharp eyes quickly pin-pointed Dr. Kano who was still standing in his hospital room.

Feeling impulsive Kaneki grinned at him and stuck up a finger defiantly. If Dr. Kano had thought he suspected anything, he definitely knew now. Kaneki turned again and walked off, planning on heading home first thing. He couldn't keep the self-satisfied smile off of his face as he did so.

Smells and sounds ambushed him as he walked to the nearest bus stop. The bus ride itself was even worse. With high-school kids chatting excitedly about one topic or another. He senses were on overload, like they were all turned to high sensitivity and he couldn't find the volume button.

He almost began to rethink his plan to leave the hospital but kicked himself in the backside as he did so. He wasn't going back now, not after all that effort to get out.

He had a headache forming by the time he made it off the bus so it was a huge relief to get back to the quiet of his small apartment. He unlocked his door and was relieved to see everything was as he left it. He didn't want the nosy landlord touching anything of his if he could help it.

The scar above his kidney stung a little making him wince. It wasn't completely healed yet and the walking around hadn't helped. He drew up his top to have a look at it. The skin was tightly stitched together and showed some signs of healing but it had mostly not changed since the operation.

Kaneki had been slightly surprised that Dr. Kano hadn't protested over him being released, after all he had only been there for a week. He could have taken the papers from him and pretended that he had never seen them but he didn't, he just stared at Kaneki like he was trying to figure out a difficult puzzle. After he had gotten over the shock that is. Kaneki wished him luck on that one, meanwhile he wasn't going to waste the opportunity to get out of there.

Kaneki settled down on his bed, brushing some dust off of his pillow as he did. He absently checked his phone noticing 7 missed calls from Hide but ignored them. He didn't want to deal with Hide just yet so he put the phone down, despite the growing pit of guilt in his stomach. He picked up a book and lay back intending to only read for a brief measure of time but quickly lost track of how long he had been reading for. Most of the day was wasted this way, reading some of the material he hadn't gotten to yet. He only ate a few bites of a sandwich at lunch and promptly threw it up a short time later.

After the bout of nausea had passed, he settled down to sleep even though it was only late afternoon. It wasn't long before he was fast asleep.

However, it felt like the barest of moments later when he opening his eyes. But he knew he was wrong when he opened the curtains only to find it dark outside. He looked at his phone and noted with some surprise that it was nearly 11 at night, meaning that he had slept through the afternoon and most of the night. Him sleeping that long was highly unusual, normally he couldn't sleep more that 4-5 hours a night and was waking up most of the time. He had been like that for as long as he could remember, even after the accident while he was in the hospital he was the same. He brushed it off as exhaustion. He glanced at the time again and noticed that he also had two more missed calls from Hide.

He thought that maybe the ringing had woken him but instead his stomach growled out, startling him in the silence. He shook his head at himself, smirking slightly.

 _Frightened by my own stomach, figures._

Kaneki was slightly surprised that he was hungry. It had been a while since he had last felt any need to sustain himself, in fact he couldn't remember being hungry since the accident. His stomach growled loudly again making his lips twitch. He shuffled sleepily over to the fridge to try and find something but nothing stood out. It all just smelled like cardboard to him. Kaneki figured that he could go out for a short walk to the nearest convenience store as see if he could find anything that looked appetizing. He shrugged on a light blue coat, pulling up the hood as he did so.

The night was quiet. Nearly all the foot traffic had gone to bed but every now and then Kaneki could see someone walking along, more often a car drove past. The convenience store was empty apart from a sleepy looking young man sitting at the register that seemed to jerk awake as Kaneki walked in. Kaneki nodded his head at him but paid no more attention.

He walked up and down the aisles waiting for something to jump out at him. He eventually settled for a pack of potato chips and a takeaway cup of udon noodles even though neither looked even remotely appetizing. He paused at the counter and viewed the drink selection quickly. A can of black coffee stood out from the rest. Kaneki grabbed it and placed it with the rest of his purchases. A ding from behind sounded the arrival of another customer and Kaneki glanced around curiously too see who else was walking around this late.

The quick look revealed another young boy, probably a couple of years younger than Kaneki. He looked perfectly normal in every way but even so the small smile he gave Kaneki and the guy at the register made the hairs stand up of the back on Kaneki's neck. Kaneki turned back to the register boy as he was given the price of the item. He dropped the correct amount onto the counter and quickly gathered up his purchases. He shoved the can of coffee in his pocket and was about to do the same with the rest when his instincts flared.

Kaneki whirled, coming face to face with the other customer who was giving him a smile. Cold ran down his back as he recognized the smile as the same one that Rize had given him just before she attacked him.

He didn't think any more than that. He dropped what he was holding and bolted to the left, he was out the door before the younger boy could even comprehend that he had moved. The guy at the register called out to him confused but the sound was quickly cut off by a gurgling sound, followed by a loud thump. Kaneki glanced back behind him and instantly noticed the red splatter that stood out on the glass.

He turned back and ran. He didn't go far, but it was far enough that his scar had started to throb and he had a stitch in his side. He placed his hand over the wound and was pleased to see that none of the stitches had come out and it wasn't bleeding, that would have meant a trip back to the hospital and Kaneki wanted to avoid that place at all costs.

He looked up breathing heavily and checked around himself for any curious passersby's. Thankfully the street was empty. Kaneki leant against a brick wall, breathing deeply through his nose with his eyes closed. The deeps breath didn't do much to calm him but eventually he had himself back under control.

 _Why is it that my luck seems to be getting worse and worse?_ Kaneki sighed in resignation before shaking himself and heading off the general direction of his apartment. His hands still shaking slightly. He was almost there anyway he just had to cut through-

Kaneki froze at the scene before him.

Blood splattered her clothing. Most of it being spread over her midsection and hands but a small portion was splattered onto her face. The red liquid made her vibrant purple hair stand out like a halo in the dark.

The female ghoul looked up revealed her black sclera and red irises to him. With a faint jolt he recognized her a Kirishima Touka, the girl who worked at Anteiku.

But what was worse of all was the delicious scent that was wafting from the dead body. It made Kaneki want to both drool and hurl at the same time.

The corpse was in pieces and Kaneki's eyes were stuck on it for a long second before he managed to focus back on her face. She was looking confused at him, similar to the look Dr. Kano had given him as he was leaving the hospital.

'Oh do you want some?' She offered a hand to Kaneki. The urge to be sick grew stronger than the urge drool and he stumbled away, leaning against the alley wall.

'Wait I know you….….how the hell are you alive?' She exclaimed. Kaneki didn't want to look but her surprise at him being alive made him turn back to her.

'Um well you know...' he managed to get out before his brain caught up with his mouth. Every instinct screaming at him to get the hell out of there, away from the ghoul and the delicious smelling dead body.

'But only one of your eyes are red.' She frowned at him.

 _Well fuck-_

Kaneki didn't spare her another moment. He had to get out of there before she decided anything. He turned and bolted back the way he came.

'Hey!' She called out from behind him but he ignored her and kept running. He didn't stop up he had made it to his apartment and he rushed inside, hardly managing to close the door behind him in his rush.

Kaneki took deep breaths, struggling to control his uneven breathing and jagged heartbeat. He slowly walked over to his bed, each step careful as if there were spikes on the floor.

 _NOPENOPENOPENOPE._

His thoughts were frenzied, his scar was stinging. A brief touch to it revealed that some of the stiches must have ripped as blood was on his fingers.

He gingerly sat on the edge of his bed. When his phone beeped he had to physical hold himself to the frame before he could fly out of it.

He shakily picked up the phone and turned it on showing that had gotten a new message. The calls from Hide stood out at him, calling him a coward.

 _What did she mean-no I'm not dealing with this right now. I need to get some sleep._

 _I'll call Hide in the morning._ Kaneki decided. He quickly checked the message expecting it to be from Hide except it was from another. Taking deep breaths, he opened the message.

-Hey did you make it out of the dungeons of hell?-

Kaneki's lips twitched despite himself. He quickly replied.

-Course I did. You may be able to kick my ass but I'm not completely hopeless. It went fine.-

He took out the can of coffee from his pocket. Even after all that running it had still somehow managed to stay with him.

-Come on, I want more details than that! ;) Did the Doctor get a thrashing? I would of liked to have seen that.-

-That's you're style, not mine idiot. And what's with the winky face?-

He popped it and hesitantly brought the cheap liquid to his lips. It was bitter as most canned coffees are but he realized with shock that he could actually taste the coffee. It wasn't bland like everything else he had eaten or drunk in the last week. He was momentarily distracted when another message came through.

-I felt like it. :P And since when do I have a style? \\_(o-0)_/-

Kaneki rolled his eyes but his lips twitched again.

-Since always, it involves kicking everyone's ass without checking to see if you're right.-

-Oh you're aren't still sore about that are you? :D It was years and years ago. :P-

Kaneki frowned at the memory before quickly replying.

-No I'm not.-

He focused back on his can of coffee. Is he was able to stomach this, he would have finally found something that didn't make him sick. He just had to hold it down.

-Awwww is Kaneki mad at me~ :D-

-…-

-Heh anyway, :)-

His stomach seemed settled and Kaneki began to look up. Sure he may have terrible luck but at least he had coffee right?

-You never grow up do you.-

-Nope, oh and before I forget, try and stay off the streets, the ghouls have been becoming more active lately.-

Kaneki pursed his lips.

–Yeah got it.-

He switched of his phone before any other messages could get through however one made it through before he could.

-You owe me one. :D-

Kaneki couldn't help but think the reply.

 _I'll always owe you one._

* * *

The junior investigator absently watched the footage from the convenience store murder, struggling to focus his eyes on the same frames again and again. It was dreary work, combing through the hours of footage.

Apparently they were looking to see if the ghoul had been in earlier in the day to identify his prey but so far none of them had had any luck. Even though his superiors had given them that reason, he personally though they had done it to keep him and his partner out of the way and out of trouble.

Akimoto Ichiro glanced over at his partner and self-proclaimed best friend, Takahiro Asagi. He was hunched own a very similar desk of his own and was watching the computer screen with eyes that had an intent to kill, or something like that. Ichiro had no idea how he did it. His own eyes were burning from disuse over the long hours.

This particular case was a weird one, currently there were three of them on the job of screening of the camera footage, himself, Asagi, and Rank 2 Investigator.

It was the footage that was odd.

Ichiro paused the scene he was currently on and shuffled his aching body over to the main table where the Rank 2 was sitting watching the main part of the footage again and again.

It started off fairly normal with the only odd thing being the time of the night, in it a boy entered the store wearing a light blue jumper with the hood pulled up. From the angle the camera was on they couldn't see his face and that frustrated the investigators to no end. He collected his purchases, potato chips, takeaway udon noodles and a can of black coffee and quickly moved to the register. Another figure walked into the store as this goes on and the first boy quickly glances at him. They then ignore each other. It is barely fifteen seconds later when the younger boy walked right up to Mr. Hood as Ichiro calls him.

Mr. Hood spins without warning and the younger boy grins at him.

This is where the footage become a little strange. The investigators know from watching the footage earlier that the younger boy is ghoul and is the one who kills the employee at the register. Mr. Hood however seems to act just like a human, even more so with the purchases he makes. But when the ghoul smiles at him he reacts differently than one would expect. He drops what he is holding and bolts from the store, seemingly reacting out of nowhere. Normally the investigations might take this as a clue that Mr. Hood is also a ghoul however the blank surprise of the identified ghoul's face dissuades this. He was clearly not expecting that reaction.

One thing good does come out of it however, because of the unexpected turn of events, the ghoul forgets his caution and for a moment his face is exposed to the camera. It is not much but it is enough to get a search up and running. Mr. Hood's face could not be seen due to the speed he left in, another factor which adds to the theory that he is a ghoul.

Overall the investigators had been successful in the search to find evidence of who the ghoul was but they were also stumped on who and what the hooded boy was. His superior scratched his head and sighed heavily. He turned to his juniors.

'Back to work Akimoto, Takahiro.' He said gruffly. Ichiro sighed but obediently shuffled back to his own section. Asagi shoots him a pity look and he glares back. They both stick out their tongues at each other and behind them, the investigator sighs heavily. It was going to be a long night for all of them.


End file.
